I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
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I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
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second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.