Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?