The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
