I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
