No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Sober January is a disaster.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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