I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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