You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
