I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
