I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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