I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
