Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
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noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
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I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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