I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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