So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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