Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
