is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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