WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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