have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
