i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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