Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
