I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize