Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
