she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
