very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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