He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
How external is "for external use only"?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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