Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
