we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
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