apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
