There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
