Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Life is so much better after having sex.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
