I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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