It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
