Your tits are I can't wait for
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
