i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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