It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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