OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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