please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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