i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I will be naked everywhere
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
