An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
zippers are such a cool invention
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize