I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
