"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
