i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
