i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
