is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
