the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
