Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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