hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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