Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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