mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
