I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
And then my night got REAL pukey
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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