I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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