Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
