saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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