can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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