Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Randomize
