at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
