"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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