Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
