I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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