So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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