I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
