and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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