We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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