Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
