SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
