Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
