I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
