Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
