do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
