True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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