I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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