I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
