Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize
